http://music.guardian.co.uk/pickardofthepops/page/0,,2277192,00.html

...giving us rockgodness from all angles. Hell yes!! 

'You can tell Slash is a rock god because his stance is so wide he is almost doing the splits.'

Many countries have passed but few have stuck around. Singapore are on at the moment, significantly lacklusture I feel. And there's still a very long way to go. I might eat a plum and read a rousing article on a ten year old wastewater treatment plant in Suffolk to while the hour away...

I managed to get free tickets for the Vitality Show, held in a behemoth of a building called Olympia in London. I was expecting a freebie-tastic explosion of people wanting to rub your feet and paint jazzy designs on your finger nails. Well, there were people who would rub your feet and paint jazzy designs, but only if you paid them for it first. And that seemed to be the overall theme, you could have lots of stuff done to you but only if you shelled out the dosh. This is on top of £17, which I didn't pay but I still had to get up early and sit for three quarters of an hour on a tube to get there, so if I had paid to get it, I wouldn't of been very happy at all. So we entered the seething mass of women, more women in one place than I have ever seen before in my life, and it was like a careers fair but everybody wanted to flog you things that you didn't want. I managed to grab a bit of toast-like stuff with pesto cream cheese on, which I clutched triuphantly and we staggered on through to admire these foot massaging machines people were sat in. Two quid a go and you have to sit there with people staring at you. The Scientologists were there offering stress tests, I ran away and hid behind a jewelry stand until my friend caught up, we stood and laughed at a circle of women who were being made to jump in and out of a circle yelling because it would make them happier, and eventually found the day spa bit only to find out everything had been booked up about two hours previously. 

So, what do you get for £17? A free yoghurt, a 50p off Yorkshire Tea that expires in three days time, a Kitkat sensations and a water filter. That's literally it, unless you persevered with the queue and got a free eyebrow wax. 

On a better note, watched Alien 4 and Wincott's looking grungy and bad-ass in it, exactly what I like to see :D

Back for Easter and currently in the throes of a full-blown Michael Wincott obsession. He's such a beast AND I found out the other day that he's played harmonica on stage with Slash at some do or other. How can this guy be any cooler? Well, he can't, even if he turned up on a motorbike dressed in leather with a guitar slung over his back. Actually...

I watched Death At A Funeral last night now I'm in my full blown Rupert Graves fan phase and I found it really entertaining. There seems to be a mixed reaction on IMDB, ranging from 'steaming pile of dull' to 'completely hilarious' so maybe it's a marmite movie and you either love it or hate it but I'd watch it again and not just because Rupert Graves turns up looking very hot in long hair and shades. I think it depends upon whether you like slapstick comedy or not but I wouldn't say I'm generally a fan, I find films like Just Married and Meet The Parents excruciating to watch they're that unfunny, but the film's worth watching for Alan Tudyk alone. Gets a seven out of ten from me.

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a305/gunsnroses70/000466579002.jpg

Truely great fanfiction takes a while to find, mainly because there's just so much of it written about so many things and it's also down to your personal taste. I think a well written story however, no matter what it's about, still remains well written even if you hate the plot. I personally love parodies and sarcasm, the tongue-in-cheek look at overdone or ridiculous stories which people insist on rehashing even though it's been done millions of times before. Use a bit of imagination will you? Although parodies themselves can also become the same, using the same observations repeatedly. I've stuck to Harry Potter and LOTR fanfiction myself, they're books I know the most about so here are some of the best and funniest stories that I've found and wanted to share with anybody who cares to read this:

BloodRed Rose for Legolas by ElveNDestiNy: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/662880/1/BloodRed_Rose_for_Legolas. 
This sounds like it should be some soppy, overblown, cliche-ridden, 480 chapter story about elves who can't control their feelings long enough to do anything else but even though it is, it's actually very good. It's a lot to read but I got caught up with the story, which is how it should be.

Should've Thought of That One, Bori by Eggo Waffles: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2378960/1/Shouldve_Thought_of_That_One_Bori. 
This is a clever parody of LOTR where Boromir survives to fight another day, 

Arreh Sculptor and The Philospher's Phone by CookieJunkie: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2269537/1/Arreh_Sculptor_and_the_Philosophers_Phone. 
Not just another stupidly titled idiotic pile of drivel which more often that not has the description 'OMG, this is so crazy!!' This is actually really funny and well thought through.

Realizations by Wishweaver: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1260679/1/Realizations. 
This started off good with what I thought was an interesting plot that I hadn't heard of before, the Dursleys not turning up at King's Cross to take Harry home for the summer, but then it got a bit daft with elemental magic and cute wholesome families and so on. Because of the earlier potential I've put it here. I might go back and try it again some day.

Help! The Goblins Are Revolting! by Oddity Incarnate: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2313510/1/Help_The_Goblins_are_Revolting.
A fanfic based on Labyrinth. Only five chapters, it is sad when people decide to not continue good fanfics but what is there is worth a look. Oddity thankfully credits you with a bit of intelligence and writes accordingly.

Gimli and Boromir Strike Back by BormirDefender: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1663509/1/Gimli_and_Boromir_Strike_Back.
Does what is says on the tin. Mary Sues, the bane of fanfiction, are outwitted in this amusing and very entertaining fic.

Harry Potter and the Overdone Plot Devices by citygirl1116: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1788260/1/Harry_Potter_and_the_Overdone_Plot_Devices.
This fic takes all of the cliches of Harry Potter fanfiction and treats them with a great deal of sarcasm and comic timing.

Aragorn's Average Adventure by Erestor: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1790869/1/Aragorns_Average_Adventure.
Very, very funny and very, very sarcastic. A one chapter flash of brilliance. 

Game of the Gods by Limyaael: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1518794/1/The_Game_of_the_Gods.
Based upon characters from the Silmarillion, this is fantastic. Even if you don't know who anybody is, the image of them playing chess and the repeated ownage of Mary Sues in a variety of funny and imaginative ways make the chapters fly by.

The Hogwarts Fanfiction Academy by Meir Brin: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/985773/1/The_Hogwarts_Fanfiction_Academy.
The original story which has spawned countless spin offs, this takes to hand all the bad fanfiction writers out there. Great stuff.

The Official Fanfiction University of Middle Earth by Camilla Sandman: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/644826/1/The_Official_Fanfiction_University_of_Middleearth.
I think Meir Brin and this woman write together because these two fics seem to be the basis for a lot of copyage and fan worship. Not without good reason however.

Hidden Hero by nutmeg610: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1523032/1/Hidden_Hero.
I'd forgotten about this one actually. It's rather good, classic love story that isn't too galling. 

I might post some more another day but these are the best that I've found. I hope they bring joy to somebody's life, somebody who appreciates grammar, correct spelling and an interesting and original yarn. Have fun!

I'm currently watching my sister playing with her character on Second Life. It's an explosion of bright purple punk hair, red eyes and black nails and walks around like it's got something rammed up its arse, like Lara Croft in the first Tomb Raider games for the Playstation. I'd never heard of Second Life until about two weeks ago when a guy on the news interviewed somebody who wanted to remain anonamous so they met on the game and talked about her views on something or other that I can't remember. It looked pretty cool, people flying about and building stuff. It's a lot bigger than I thought, there are thousands and thousands of people all over the world logged in at one time but one question remains - What on earth do you do? You can't build stuff because you need to pay actual money to buy land and there aren't any set quests or anything to give people a common purpose, you just wander about from one live music event to another wondering why people feel the need to yell stuff in caps lock. Also, despite there being thousands of people, my sister seems to be having trouble finding anybody. Hah, she's just got herself stuck up a palm tree. I think the most amusing part is watching people suddenly drop out of the sky and fall flat on their faces because they don't know how to land. I don't know whether we're missing the point of this whole Second Life thing but there doesn't seem to be one. My laptop seems incapable of coping with the size of it as well, it keeps crashing so all in all more bother than it's worth. 

I used to play a text based MPD called Nightmist, it's quite lame really but it's amazing how lame things can be so addictive. Especially when you can get new armour and spells. I find the other people you get on these games particularly fascinating though, they create their little clans with appropriate names such as Celtic Storm and go around pwning other clan members just to start clan wars, or form aliances so they can go defeat the Time Lord or whatever. There are the annoying rubbish players that expect you to do everything for them, woe betide you adding them to your friend list because you'll never get rid of them going on about wanting armour or new boots, and the high level players who seriously need to get a life. It isn't real! It doesn't matter, none of it does, it's a game. Get over it. 
Saying that, I did spend a good portion of my time, roughly four and a half days of my life altogether I think it was, memorizing routes through sewers and forests so I could kill decent stuff but not get killed myself by ranging parties from other clans. For what? My own satisfaction when I could use a halberd and cause an average of 50 damage points per blow. It's the small things in life. I left in the end when I finally realised that sitting in one position, doing nothing but click my mouse on a little picture of a spider to kill it was a very boring thing to do.

This reminds me of a related topic, web comics, or specifically, this web comic: www.thenoobcomic.com. It is actually genius. If you play multi-player fantasy games on the internet than this is fantastic, it strikes to the heart of all the rediculous things that happen with razor sharp sarcasm. Kept me amused for hours and it's something you can read again and again. It's still being updated as well. Other webcomics that I thought were very good are Inverloch (http://inverloch.seraph-inn.com/volume1.html) and No Rest For The Wicked (http://www.forthewicked.net/archive/), both well worth reading.